feeling sorry for who?

Sometimes, I like to feel sorry for myself.  I think about all the things that I wish I had, but don't.  I think of all the things I could have or should have done differently, but didn't.  I think about all the friends I've had, but have no longer.  I think about everything that could seemingly make my life better, more fulfilling.

But, that's just sometimes.

Sometimes, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I am entirely thankful for my life.  During these moments, I know that my life is complete.. and that wanting more seems ungrateful.  Sometimes, I take a mental inventory of all the great things I have going for me.  

Family. During these times, I'm so thankful for a loving and supportive family.  Without my family, I'd almost certainly be nowhere.  Included in my family is my extended Dwyer family.. another set of people who have come to love me with open arms.  Family, which to me has great meaning, is a large part of my life that I hold close to my heart.

  

Sean.  Most importantly, I'm grateful for my sweet husband and best friend.  Without him, I wouldn't be me.  He is truly my other (and better!) half.  He always sees me for me, even when I can't seem to see myself.  He makes me a better, more loving person-- and for that, I am thankful.  Besides being an incredible husband and my best friend, he has many other roles: he's an amazing father, a supportive brother, loving son, favorite uncle, trustworthy friend, enthusiastic teacher, etc.  The list really is endless.  As important as he is to me, I know so many others are affected by his kindness and love of life.

James Henry Dwyer.  My love, my bug, my sweet baby boy.  This child has brought so much joy into my life.  He, like his father, has helped to bring meaning to my life.  He is such a joy to me-- always laughing that deep belly laugh and smiling that big teethy smile.  He reminds me to stop and enjoy life.  He has helped me to slow down and revel in the moment, rather than rushing through things just to get them done.  He is a perfect mold of myself and his father, and for that, I could ask no more.

My education.  Although I often whine and complain about school, I couldn't be more satisfied with my life in terms of my education.  I have learned so much, and I am so glad that I have been afforded a chance to learn to do what I love.  Finally, all of my education is about to pay off: I will graduate at the end of this summer, and I will eventually find a great job.

When I think about life in terms of the things I am so grateful for, it is hard to imagine how I could ever feel sorry for myself.  While it's definitely part of (dare I say "normal") human nature, I do strive to live a life of positivity and thankfulness.  Wanting more than I need is selfish, and that's not part of who I want to be.  I am who I am because of the choices I have made.   Had I chosen a different path at any point, my life would not be the same.  

So, the next time I start feeling sorry for myself, I will immediately start going down the list of all things I am so thankful for... I am so blessed to have such an amazing and complete life!